In 2 weeks

I get to wake up next to my husband again. I am not sure how I will handle sharing my bed. I kinda like having it all to myself. I know I will kick him and might shove him off a few times. But hey that is just normal for me. I have been keeping really busy with the packing. I have posted a few things up for sale but have not heard anything back yet. Would it be wrong of me to set a match to everything?

Mr Avery

So I am sitting here in the waiting room at Summerlin hospital. They took Avery back about 5 ish minutes ago. He was not really happy that I did not go back with him but the nurses let him keep his Blanket "softy" with him. That made him happy. I talked to Dr Rhee for a little bit and he said he should have all the results Monday or Tues.
I am going to take him over to Jamba juice after we are done. Since I figured he will be sore for the day. I will also set his room up so he can watch movies or play video games all day. They do not want him moving around too much for the rest of the day.

What were we thinking???

So it has been 2 1/2 months now. For the past 2 weeks I have been packing the apt taking everything apart and loading up the storage unit with what I can. At first I really thought I could not handle all this on my own. I am doing now. But really this is stupid. He should be here helping me. I have cut my leg arm and head bumped my head hard enough to see stars twice. Last week I pulled something in my shoulder. The kids help with everything that they can but when it comes to the big stuff I am on my own. This week I am trying to get the book cases and dressers out.

For those of you that do not know Avery is going in to the hospital on Friday morning to have biopsies done on his stomach. This I DO NOT want to do on my own. I know everyone is just a phone call away. I will be taking my laptop I just hope the hospital internet is working.

The move

So I have no Idea when we are leaving Las Vegas. Honestly I think it will take forever. I have been busy with packing things that we do not need at this moment. Mostly doing the kids rooms and the food storage. I packed 3/4 of out movie collection which took about 7 good size boxes. Hope and Avery each have a large trash bag of stuffed animals mostly build a bears of course.

This week has been really hard since all of us have been ill. Hope has not gone to school all week, so I have put her to work.

It seems like once we have a bit saved up something happens and a wrench goes in the gears and brings everything to a screeching halt.

I need more boxes and really do not want to have to buy them. I have been calling grocery stores so that helps. I check freecycle and craigslist several times a day.

Empty

Well it has been nearly a week and a half since McKay went back up to Utah to work. I understand he is doing what is needed and that many people in the world have to deal with a spouse/partner else where in the world. But it does not help me with the empty feeling I feel inside me. I try to keep my brave/strong face on. Day to day it gets harder and harder for me to not just have a total melt down. I keep in mind that my children need me to stay strong right now. I am doing the best I can. Some days I just want to stay in bed and curl up under my blanket and hide. I drag myself out of bed and force myself to do things here. I sleep about 3 hours a night and I barley am eating. I try to eat and sleep but it just does not happen. All I want to do is pack the kids up and be with him so our family is back together. I think that is how it is worse. Service men/women do not have that option. I sit here and think he is only 7 hours away from us. Last week was harder because I knew he was not working and just sitting around fixing things reading or doing what ever to keep the boredom away. This week he started work. So now he is keeping him self busy. I have been trying to pack things up that we really do not need out nic naks posters pictures ect ect. Now my walls look empty my shelves are bare. I think it was a mistake.

Day 4

Well they days have been okay. Kids keep me pretty busy. We have been watching alot of tv and movies. Trying to make the day go faster. Monday I basically stayed in bed all day watching tv with Alex and Hope. Tuesday I actually got dressed went to walmart and bought some food. Tuesday we watched Beastly, I found that to be a really good movie. I did some cleaning found my kitchen. Today once the kids rooms are picked up I am going to take them to the pool.
It is nights that I dread the most. Unless I have Hope or Avery in my bed I do not sleep. I end up staying up all night watching Netflix or DVDs. Part of me wants it to get better but the other does not. If it gets better it means I do not miss him. I know that is not completely true. Just how it feels. I know it is not easy for him right now. I at least have the kids.

Next week I will be rehoming the fish and hamsters. Kids will not be too happy but I will be finding a new home for the dog as well.

Last Day

Today day is the last day that McKay will be home for a few weeks. It seems like the clock is flying by and soon he will be on the road. It is a great thing what he is doing. I know that some how we will survive with out him but it really does not feel that way. In the 8 1/2 years we have been together the longest I went with out him was when I went to Utah for a week. But this feels different. I know I will keep busy doing things with the kids packing and such. But it is the down time I dread. The little things like setting the table to eat. At least the laundry will be cut in half.