Birthday

Today is the birthday of the woman that gave birth to me. I know that sounds really harsh but that is how I feel. I have not spoken to her for about 3 months. When I talked to her then I had to call my sister to have my mother call me. Anytime I want to give her an update I have to call my sister to tell her to tell my mother. It is so messed up. I do not even have a number for her anymore. She does not make an effort to contact us either. My kids ask why I just have to say I do not know. Twice a year I think about her. Mother's day and her birthday. For those of you that are on my facebook pages know I post often. She barely ever likes pictures or even comments. At first I thought she just did not have internet until one day she was commenting on my cousin's post. It made me wonder why she can not do so on mine or email or even just call me. Last week I had a dream that my father was still alive. It was such a great dream. He was a major part in my children's lifes. It made me sad.

But I have to remember that I have 2 other moms and another dad that is there for when I need to talk or even just say hi. I have 20ish brothers and sisters that care about me. I have so many nieces and nephews that I have lost count (not really I can name all of you your spouses and your children and sometimes in order) that care for me as well.

Well I am rambling. So to end this my point that I was thinking is blood does not make a family. LOVE makes a family and I have a very large family that is filled with love!!

Trick or Treat.

Well today is hard. This is McKay's favorite day of the year. We are spending it 500 miles apart. Normally the house would be decorated with crafts the kids and I would make during the long weekend. This year I have nothing up. WE did have a fun pumpkin carving party. My best friend and her kids came over. Hope's little guy friend came over. WE ended it with jumbo cupcakes. Which they split one sitting on the stairs. As Sasha and I were cleaning up we started a paint war. Which I won of course. It was a blast.

I am happy to end this chapter of our life. I really think we will be happier in Utah. I just have a hard time leaving my friends behind me. I know I will always have them in my life. I look forward to making new friends.

In 2 weeks

I get to wake up next to my husband again. I am not sure how I will handle sharing my bed. I kinda like having it all to myself. I know I will kick him and might shove him off a few times. But hey that is just normal for me. I have been keeping really busy with the packing. I have posted a few things up for sale but have not heard anything back yet. Would it be wrong of me to set a match to everything?

Mr Avery

So I am sitting here in the waiting room at Summerlin hospital. They took Avery back about 5 ish minutes ago. He was not really happy that I did not go back with him but the nurses let him keep his Blanket "softy" with him. That made him happy. I talked to Dr Rhee for a little bit and he said he should have all the results Monday or Tues.
I am going to take him over to Jamba juice after we are done. Since I figured he will be sore for the day. I will also set his room up so he can watch movies or play video games all day. They do not want him moving around too much for the rest of the day.

What were we thinking???

So it has been 2 1/2 months now. For the past 2 weeks I have been packing the apt taking everything apart and loading up the storage unit with what I can. At first I really thought I could not handle all this on my own. I am doing now. But really this is stupid. He should be here helping me. I have cut my leg arm and head bumped my head hard enough to see stars twice. Last week I pulled something in my shoulder. The kids help with everything that they can but when it comes to the big stuff I am on my own. This week I am trying to get the book cases and dressers out.

For those of you that do not know Avery is going in to the hospital on Friday morning to have biopsies done on his stomach. This I DO NOT want to do on my own. I know everyone is just a phone call away. I will be taking my laptop I just hope the hospital internet is working.

The move

So I have no Idea when we are leaving Las Vegas. Honestly I think it will take forever. I have been busy with packing things that we do not need at this moment. Mostly doing the kids rooms and the food storage. I packed 3/4 of out movie collection which took about 7 good size boxes. Hope and Avery each have a large trash bag of stuffed animals mostly build a bears of course.

This week has been really hard since all of us have been ill. Hope has not gone to school all week, so I have put her to work.

It seems like once we have a bit saved up something happens and a wrench goes in the gears and brings everything to a screeching halt.

I need more boxes and really do not want to have to buy them. I have been calling grocery stores so that helps. I check freecycle and craigslist several times a day.

Empty

Well it has been nearly a week and a half since McKay went back up to Utah to work. I understand he is doing what is needed and that many people in the world have to deal with a spouse/partner else where in the world. But it does not help me with the empty feeling I feel inside me. I try to keep my brave/strong face on. Day to day it gets harder and harder for me to not just have a total melt down. I keep in mind that my children need me to stay strong right now. I am doing the best I can. Some days I just want to stay in bed and curl up under my blanket and hide. I drag myself out of bed and force myself to do things here. I sleep about 3 hours a night and I barley am eating. I try to eat and sleep but it just does not happen. All I want to do is pack the kids up and be with him so our family is back together. I think that is how it is worse. Service men/women do not have that option. I sit here and think he is only 7 hours away from us. Last week was harder because I knew he was not working and just sitting around fixing things reading or doing what ever to keep the boredom away. This week he started work. So now he is keeping him self busy. I have been trying to pack things up that we really do not need out nic naks posters pictures ect ect. Now my walls look empty my shelves are bare. I think it was a mistake.

Day 4

Well they days have been okay. Kids keep me pretty busy. We have been watching alot of tv and movies. Trying to make the day go faster. Monday I basically stayed in bed all day watching tv with Alex and Hope. Tuesday I actually got dressed went to walmart and bought some food. Tuesday we watched Beastly, I found that to be a really good movie. I did some cleaning found my kitchen. Today once the kids rooms are picked up I am going to take them to the pool.
It is nights that I dread the most. Unless I have Hope or Avery in my bed I do not sleep. I end up staying up all night watching Netflix or DVDs. Part of me wants it to get better but the other does not. If it gets better it means I do not miss him. I know that is not completely true. Just how it feels. I know it is not easy for him right now. I at least have the kids.

Next week I will be rehoming the fish and hamsters. Kids will not be too happy but I will be finding a new home for the dog as well.

Last Day

Today day is the last day that McKay will be home for a few weeks. It seems like the clock is flying by and soon he will be on the road. It is a great thing what he is doing. I know that some how we will survive with out him but it really does not feel that way. In the 8 1/2 years we have been together the longest I went with out him was when I went to Utah for a week. But this feels different. I know I will keep busy doing things with the kids packing and such. But it is the down time I dread. The little things like setting the table to eat. At least the laundry will be cut in half.

Bothered.

Well 2 weeks ago I went to church with the family. Apparently my hair became a discussion among some of the members. Of course nothing positive. Last Sunday I did not go to church die to Avery having a tummy bug. When McKay came home he told me about one member that came up to him and asked if I have changed my awful hair. His reply was no and I see you have not either. Well the comments had gotten back to the Bishop and Sunday afternoon he stopped by to assure me that this was not the views of the majority of the ward members. He said even though yes it is bold but it sits me and looks nice. It was not of him to stop by to say this. I have never been one to really care about what people think of how I look or dress. Since I do not do this all for them I do it for myself.

the part that bothers me is the judgment by this one member. This is not the first time she has made comments to me. Even though I am active in the wards activities and attend services I am not a member. She believes that there are things I should not be included in due to my non membership. I brought this up with the Bishop and they Relief Society Pres. . They both say to just ignore her. Which I do.

I was planning on changing my hair this week but I think I will wait. I love my hot pink hair even if it is fading.

Miss HopeLeah

Today my baby girls turned 11! So here is a bit about her. so loves all animals and wishes to be a vet. Her true passion is music. She prefers to listen to all music all day. She does not mind the style just is not fond of hip hop or rap. So loves classic rock Beatles, Zeppelin Aerosmith, Abba and the newest music she enjoys is Katy Perry and Pink. She loves to roller blade play any music based video game. Her Best friend is Autumn. They would spend everyday all day together if we would let them.

Stolen

Well Saturday we took our DS game case to the dentist with us. I remember bringing it back to the truck. We are thinking that one of the truck doors did not get closed all the way or for some reason the truck did not get locked (which is not like me)

So we lost nearly every DS game and Avery's DSlite. Worst is that he just got the DSlite for his birthday he spend most of Sunday crying about it. We can not afford to get him a new or or replace the games that were lost. Kids are all sad. I am sad and pissed. McKay is mostly pissed.

I have searched the Apt and even called the dentist office. No luck.

HSM SINGIT

Yummy dinner

so l ast night we did surf and turf. Since we had the left over Mahi Mahi and I was making stake I thought I would put together a nice dinner. I bought fresh green beans and steamed them. We even broke out the good plates.

Work out plan

I got a great deal on a PS3 game called EA sports ACTIVE. It has 3 monitors 1 I hook to my leg then other 2 to my forearms. 1 has a built in heart monitor. It is linked to an online site to further track my progress. I am liking it sorta. I started on the med level which I am not liking I am not as in shape as I thought I was. I am hoping I am able to change it to the easy then work myself up again. I was amazed on how I can really feel it. I did the Wii Fit and it really did not push me like I needed. The worst part is I can hear the clicking in my shoulder and hip. So I take it slower at times. Today I burned 100 calories then replaced them right after with Chocolate chip cookies. Ya that was smart. Not like I need to lose weight I just want to be toned. I also have a stepper for when I watch tv.

Shang High

Joshua Alex Nathan and I just played this. Nathan was great. At first I thought he would have a hard time but opps I was wrong. Of Course Josh was spacey and bugged us all. So we ended up cheating most the game trading cards with each other just so he would have alot of points. Okay so it really was not fair but we had fun.

Alex's Birthday gift from me!

So I decided to make this this morning. I got to use my serger and my baby lock. Along with my rotary cutter and board. So it is a quilted pillow case with yes go figure a fish theme!! For dinner we had lime ginger Mahi Mahi with cilantro. Every one enjoyed it!!

Joshua Played his first full song on his bass. Printed and learned it in a hour. it is a little rough but I say he is great!!!

Nines

So Eve has taught me to play this and ever lovingly. Being the woman that she is. Gave us 3 decks of Rook cards. I have played 2 hands of nines with the kids Avery did great now we all love it.

Fun Fun Fun

Today I went to church with my mother in law. I had a good time. It really was not as bad as I thought it would be. I really do not like being around people I do not know and I always feel people are looking at me. This was not the way it was. I learned a few things and really had a good feeling after wards.

After Church we came back home and had lunch then got cooking. We made Salad, glorified rice, brownies and sweet potatos to take over to Eve's house. There we had a great time we did birthdays for Cindra, Jake Lexi and I. Maybe a few more but really no clue. I got to Hang out with Jake which was one of the things I really wanted to do this trip. I also learned to play nines and I hope I do not forget it all.

Right now Olivia and I are on our laptops and watching Letters to Juliet. Who needs sleep when your young!! Lots of snow outside right now. So not liking that at all.

Alison's wedding

Today is my Niece's wedding. I am so happy to be able to be here in Utah for this. Even more so after last night. Well Grandpa Stringham was showing me some pictures on his computer. There was a file for each of his children. He clicked on McKay's name and there was a folder with our wedding pictures. Mind you I have 1 picture from our wedding and there is nothing of all the people that came to our wedding. Last night I was sitting in my room looking at all the pictures. I asked him to copy them all to my flash drive. And there is Alison, She was there for the best day of my life and now I get to be there for hers. She is the first niece that I can say this about and in our family that is a big thing to me because there are so many nieces and nephews it was bound to happen.

Also in these pictures there are 2 pictures of my Grandfather Lenny. Whom I called Zada. Since my father (Donald) has been gone for many many years now and my Step Father (Michael) was not able to attend my wedding. It was a wonderful thing to have him there. Now I have pictures of him which makes me so very happy.
Once I get home I will be posting up the pictures here and on facebook. They will all be able to be found on my photobucket account as well.

Airport fun

Well it is 5 am. I am sitting here are the airport. Do you think it would kill them to turn the heater on?? Well I guess it would since I am chilly. Of course here I am complaining about the airport temperature when I am flying to Salt Lake City where the high is like 40ish with snow. I am going to freeze my rear off. But it is going to be worth it. I am happy to be able to see the family while I am there. It is going to be hard not having the kids or Mckay with me. The hardest part will be at night. But I guess I will deal.

If not one thing it is another

Last night they were painting the downstairs apt. the fumes were horrible and there were there until about 9pm. Called the office. Manager seemed upset they were working so late. they were suppose to stop at 5pm. It stank so bad.

Alex comes home with a hurt thumb. Joshua and his fight. Hope is sick now. I sent Alex and Josh to school all bandaged up. Talked to the school they wanted to know if we wanted to file a police report. Like what are we suppose to report. No clue who did it or why. The Dean has Josh going thru the pictures to try to identify who it may have been. But if I know Josh he will not point anyone out. He does not want anything else to happen.

So today Hope and I are laying in bed watching all the Barbie movies. Her fever is up too 102. I gave her meds and it all down and feeling better. I am hoping she take's a nap soon. When dad comes home he will not want to watch Barbie he can handle Tinker Bell though.

So beyond pissed off

So Joshua comes home looking like this after school today. Of course since he is in a late class by the time he got home the school was closed. He says all he knows was he got hit by something and fell. I am going to the school in the morning.

To make my life more fun

So i caught Avery's cold no big deal. This morning I wake up pounding head ache, right side of my face completely stopped up and my ear aching. So I take a bunch of stuff. I start to feel better but ear still bugging me. So this afternoon I just could not deal with it. I am rubbing it all the time. Then it hit me I have an ear infection. take my temp yup there is the fever. Of course I do not have insurance. So I can mom. NOw I am keeping a cotton ball soaked in olive oile in my ear and it is helping with the pain. That and the advil and decongestant I am feeling pretty good. But now I can not sleep.
As I type this McKay is asleep on the floor. Kids got him tucked in and I give up trying to get him in bed. He is going to hate it in the morning.

We had babies

Our Hamster had 3 babies last night I will try to get a picture when mom is away kids are excited

Nathan's Dr appt today

I started noticing a few weeks ago that Nathan walks more on the inside of his feet. We got him some better shoes to see if that helps. Well it really did not. So in we went. Dr. Perlow noticed it as well. At this time since Nathan is not having any pain and it is not affecting him playing running ect. We are to just watch him. If there starts any pain then to take him back in and go from there.

While there I got to talk to the doc about his height. Just turns out that he is just a very slow grower and thing can change by the time puberty kicks in.

After the appt we had some much needed time together. We played with cars and his Ben 10 toys. Then played video games together for a while. He is not really happy about me going to Utah. So I should him Skype and video calling and he thought that it was great that he can still see me. now when we are home he calls me from his room to video talk or just instant message.

Hating this weather

It is so cold here right now. I am so sick of it. I can not belive I am complaing about highs in the 40s when I have family in the teens if not lower. But I never liked the cold. I much rather prefer the warmer weather. Being in the APT makes it worse too. The kids do not want to play outside due to it is way to cold to do anything. I can not blame them at all. I do not want to go out.
Yesterday Alex helped me move up Joshua's new desk. Our hand were so cold after wards it was like burning frozen. I got use to the cold living in Utah. Being back in Vegas has thinned me out. I just want to go out play with my kids go hiking, watch McKay drive his r/c cars.
With it being really warm to freezing cold Avery and I are sick. OH JOY.

Utah bound!!

Well I am going to be visiting SLC for about 4days or so. I can not wait. Granted this will be the longest I have been away from McKay and the kids. I have no clue how I am going to react. Still to be able to see most of the family that I have missed so much since I left is going to be great.

I have been asked why go to Utah for my vacation. Granted I could go anyplace. See good friends visit my grandparents. All this I took into consideration. But my heart still pulled to Utah. As much as I would love to see my grandparents. it has been about 13 years since I saw them last. Right now is not the best to visit Ohio. So I am hoping to be able to go see them later this year. I want to be there while my Aunt Susie is there as well.

I am not looking forward to the snow. But I can deal with it. Now my big problem is what to bring and what to wear. I will probably change my mind about a dozen times before my final pack.