Everything is well

The doc called the other day and everything came back fine. So that is a big load off my shoulders.

So other wise things are krappy but hell what else is new.

things are not so hot

Well McKay has taken the lay off from work.  Really for two reasons  1 because he just is not working and 2 to be home with me.  This way with the lay off he can get unemployment and keep the medical insurance.  This is a good thing I have not been doing so well.  M pain is increasing maybe it is cause i am more in tune to it I really hope that is it.  But I know I have been really beat allot. I am not able to do the things around the house like I want to but it is nice that McKay is home to help me out.   I feel useless around here so of course that is not helping the depression at all but I will deal with it.    I really hate sitting ere waiting for the test results.  I told the kids today that I am sick again and that I have to take it easy. i really do not think that they understand this but oh well.  So I have been spending allot of time reading and playing online. I can not sit up right for very long and i hate that standing is no fun either. 

Well we have 36 hours  till Christmas and I am happy  the kids have lots of stuff this year thanks to family and friends. I hate asking for or getting help but we are at appoint to swallow our pride and just take it. 

Church was hard today I hated sitting in the pew  it hurt so much but i just grinned and bared it I tried to put on a happy face but I guess they know me better then that and allot of people were concerned it was nice to see though. I really felt like i was cared about.  I know that the family care but hey they are family.

I can not wait till Wednesday and the tree will come down and we will have the office back.  I love sitting in my new used chair i got from a neighbor that was moving out it is one of those big round moon style ones.  It is the only thing i am comfortable in. 

McKay has been great with everything he really takes care of me he gets up with the kids so I can sleep and even brings me drinks and snacks with out me having to ask him.  Last week he went to the store and got my my favorite chai tea and donuts.  And oh boy that is what I really wanted and did not even know it.

well i will try to take pics of the kids opening the gifts on Christmas and get them posted.

To those few that read this I hope that you and your families have a great Christmas!!!

went to the doctor today

Well like most people a visit to the gyn is no fun at all what so ever. Well oddly at first i was looking forward to going. I was goig to ask him for the hysterectomy. Well it took nearly 2 hours to even get to the exam room. And this was no fun with Avery and McKay siting there with me.
So it is my turn to go back and get on the scale. I have lost 8 pounds since I was last weighed and for me that is not a good thing. So I am at 113 and yes i know may are you going so what is the problem. I am about 12 pound under weight. So I get to the room and the doc gets there. I go through everything I have thought about for asking for the hysterectomy and that goes great. He agreed with me. Then came the bad stuff. First he asked about all the test results I have had in the past. I told him about i the beginning of the year how I had protine in my urine and he was concerned about that and had me retested for that because the other doctors did nothing about it. And then he want ed to do a pap smear okay i was then starting to get worried cause he want to know why I am having so many problems and in pain so much. Then he decided to to a biopsy to see if the cancer has returned. So I also had to have a bunch of blood taken. that was no fun at all.

So now i sit here and wait wait wait to know what the results are. If everything comes back fine i can have the hysterectomy in jan and be done with the blood problems and the pain. But now i get to sit here and stress if the cancer cells are back I really hate this. it has been 8 years since i had to wait like this. And 7 1/2 years since i had the cancer cells removed. God I really hate this

Right now i feel 100% alone I know i am not but i feel it.

and here is my Joshua

Well last Wednesday Joshua had is holiday strings performance. I think it went really well and he did great. I was very proud of him not only did he preform in front of friends and family the whole student body was there!!! He also got his braces on Tuesday he is so very uncomfortable. I feel really bad for him but there is not much I can do for him.

well here are some pics

Miracle in our house

Okay this is just amazing. All you wifes will get a kick out of this. McKay cleaned our bathroom today I did not even have to pester him. Not only did he clean our bathroom but he cleaned the twin's bathroom swept the stairs and vacuumed a hallway!!!!

I was amazed I left him alone to do his thing!!

Well today we got to talk to Sean ya we only get to talk to him for 10 minutes at a time and it is hard but it was great to hear his voice. It makes me happy and sad all at the same time. He is hoping to be out of the boys home in February now. I really hope so. At that time he goes back with his birth mother. At least then we can see him.

we got about a foot of snow here at our house it is freezing out here!!!!!!! the kids made some cute snowmen. I hope to take a pic soon i forgot to charge the camera go figure!

Well Here It Is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay well I know all you out there just have been dieing to see this picture. If you know me well you know that I hate my picture being taken. So this is not going to happen very often. I am very happy with the outcome of my hair. I have never been blond before this week. As some of you know I was a brunette before hand. Hope you all like it.

our Holiday pic

Well since we can not afford to go have our pic taken for Holiday Pictures this year I thought I would be adventurous and take it my self. well it didn't turn out that bad it could have been worse and some of the pictures were. Okay I know I messed up and did not realize that the vacume was in the background untill some of the kids had already changed. But here is the one of all 5 and then one of Hope and her doggy SeeCee

I HAVE GONE BLOND

Okay guys here we go I would like you opinion. I know the pic is not a good one McKay takes some horrible pictures. Now mind you this is stage 1 of me going blond. First I had to get rid of all the brown. Now I have to tone it down a bit and add some highlights or something, so please be kind it is not often I take my picture.

getting Braces

Well it is official Joshua is getting braces on Dec 11. He goes on the 4th to get the spacers and do the impressions. He is excited about this. I am very happy for him. He will be doing a 2 phase system. he wears these braces for about 9 months. then he gets a retainer till all of his permanent teeth come in. I think this will help him allot. He is picked on at school and does not have allot of self esteem. I am a bit nervous for him I remember what it was like. And he will not be able to eat allot of the foods that he really likes. But he will get use to it.

talked to my mom

Well they moved her out of the MICU late last night she is now in a regular room. she does not know how long she is going to be there. Yesterday was frustrating cause till the afternoon I couldn't get updates on her at all. I did get to talk to her yesterday morning. The nurses let her use my sister's cell phone just for a few minutes. So that was really nice. She has agreed that moving back to Vegas would be the best thing for her. Part of me wishes she would move here but I know that isn't going to happen.

Well between talking to family yesterday Avery decided to shuve a M&M up his nose man that scared me I had no clue what to do. So I called Ellen and Lucy was there and Lucy had a great idea I used a Q tip to try to move it and I think that broke the candy shell. With Avery's body heat it melted the chocolate and came right out in a big blow. It was gross. Guess it is a good thing it was not a red M&M LOL.

We take Joshua to the orthodontist the afternoon to talk about braces for him. This is going to be fun. Maybe I can get a bag of the rubber bands to do Hope's hair.

So Avery and I are going to just hang out in bed watching cartoons and movies today. I have been pretty tiered so I am just taking it easy.

if it can't get worse

So Sunday Joshua was making his chili (which is really good) And he asked if he could call grandpa Michael So I call him up and Josh is talking to him then hands me the phone he want to talk to me. Mind you this is about 1pm my dad tells me that my sister called him yesterday and my mom is back in the hospital. She was there just a few weeks ago. He tells me nothing else. So I a pissed at this point that my sister did not call. My mom was put in the MICU at LSU hospital early sat. So I find this out because I send my sister an IM yelling at her where does she get off not calling me right away I find out after she has been there over 24 hours WTH So My sister finally calls me I get the very basic info like she is alive. I ask her what the docs say and she tells me it was caused by the drastic temp change. Nothing else she has no clue what her vitals are and what the blood work is saying. So I call the hospital oh boy this is where I get majorly pissed. My sister did not put me on the list of approved people she did not set up a password. I know nothing. I have to sit here and wait. The nurses are giving my sister permission to have my mom call me from her cell phone the next time my sister goes to the hospital. So I am sitting here in my chair with the phone next to me waiting for it to ring. I hate this. I should be there. But I know that I can't. It really makes me feel helpless.

I really hope that my mom moves out of Shreveport and back to Vegas ya it was not that good there either but at least she was not getting sick so much or haing to do all the house work!

Turkey day 2007

Well the family thanksgiving went well. We had a great time thefood was great. It was really fun seeing the family help make quilts for kids in need. I did the ginger bread houses this year. It was really fun. It was great seeing the older kids get into it and see parents help there little ones make them. Jaden and his dad Justan made an awesome video game house with rooms for different systems. Kalob made a cute air plane. CJ made a nice big house with multi rooms. It was really fun helping the little ones make there's. We have a very artistic family!!! It really was a great distraction for the short time I was busy with this I did not think about all the sad stuff going on right now.

Tuesday night I lost my Aunt Rinda. She has been ill and she did not suffer. But it is hard to know she is gone. Plus it is very hard on my with Sean being in a boys home in AK and I can not be with him. I know that no family was there with him and I feel horrible. I am trying to deal with this and is is really hard for me. I want to be able to fly out there and see him but I cannot.

So it is hard on me right now I really do not want to know how I am going to feel this Christmas!!!

seems to be working

Well it has just been afew days since Joshua has been on the meds and it seems like it is working. Today he even rinsed the dishes with out me asking!! I was so surprised. I do think that I will have to increase his meds some in a few weeks after his body gets use to it. But that is okay.

the appt

Well the Appointment went really well. The doctor was great. He agrees the Joshua is ADHD and his is now taking Concorta 18mg to start. He is also about 10 pounds under weight for his height. So he is drinking a protine drink about 3 times a day and that should help. One of the side effects of the majority of ADHD medication is weight loss. So we are concerned about that. So we are going to give the meds a few weeks before we up his dose the doc feels that it will need to be increased but wants to start him on the low dose first.

So After school today I went and talked to his teacher and he seemed to be a bit better. Of course it takes a few days for it to take full effect so we will see.

Joshua has an appt......

On Monday at 1110. this should be fun. I hope that everything goes well with this. I have been having long talk with him about ow he is acting and how was are very disappointed on how he is acting. I explained to him it really hurts everyone when he is acting up not paying attention and such. I have been having him do a few things around the house near me so I can see how he is. and his teacher is right he will go put something away or go set something and gets distracted by the littlest thing. Then i loose him. It is very frustrating on my part. But we will see how the doc goes.

So much going on here

Well things are not the best right now. I do not even know where to start. Work is going well I have been pretty busy with that. The kids are okay. We are having alot of problem with Joshua. He is lieing all the time and failing school. We are going to have to put him back on to medication and I really do not want to do that at all. It made him such a zombie. We told him that we would take his viola away if his grade were below a c average but we are having a hard time taking away the one thing he is really good and and enjoys alot. I fear that it will drive him to be worse if he has nothing to look forward too. I am really at my whits end with him. I am making him doctors appointments. So I will go from there. His teacher says that he has the attention span of a fly. I belive that I see that here at home too.

just got back

Joshua just had his prefomance it went well. Thank you to those who came!!! I will try to get the video posted when I figure out how to up load it

WELL GEE LETS SEE

Well not much is super going on here. I still feel like krap. I am working my but off. There is a ton to do this week we have to pull all the annuals and plant the bulbs. But right now i am just dealing with Joshua. Last week he told me that his tooth hurt so I looked at it and the has a hole in one of his molars. So i took him to the dentist and he has a severely infected tooth on one side and a cavity on the other. so he is on meds and the tooth comes out of wed. Today he has is first viola performance.

We got a bunch of snow this weekend it was kinda nice but man I was cold!!

As for me I still miss Vegas alot i miss my friends I miss my favorite shops I miss the casinos. I miss a bunch.

remind me why

I have started this blog. Okay I know that I thought it would be a great way for family to know what is going on with my family. I know I do not have friend but geez. Okay I know that Amy looks at this but our family is so big I really thought other would. It really makes me feel little and unimportant to the world. I regret ever moving to Utah.

Nearly got taken

Well today after school a guy was jogging up behind the kids and he reached out to grab Hope.
Joshua grabbed her and ran her and the boys to Arctic circle.

I had noticed the kids were a bit late so Avery and I started walking up there. we met up at the restaurant and they started to tell me what was going on. My mind kinda shut off and i just worried about getting them home.

As soon as i got them home I called Hope's best friends mom to make sure she got home. She did. Then I called the school let them know then I filed a report with the sheriffs department. They sent a deputy out to the house and he talked to everyone about what has happened.

Hope seems to be doing fine. She has asked to sleep in my room tonight and I told her that it is fine. I think it all happened so fast that it really did not register in her mind what happened. I am going to cut back my work hours a bit to walk them to school and to pick them up.

I am a bit concerned about Joshua walking home from school alone after orchestra.

well as for me i am not doing so well i keep hugging Hope everytime she is inn reach of me. I do not know what I would have done if something happened to her. Everything ran in my head so fast. My mind is still racing. I doubt I will sleep tonight.

I feel horrible

Okay well i love working it is great I love learning all the different plants and how to care for them. But the Allergies are about to kill me!! I am going to have to go on some kind of meds and I really do not want to. Thank goodness next week we are doing zero landscape so I do not have to deal with too much pollen.

Avery has been a little pest today. During the week we have been making a pinata. Well today we went to the store and got the candy and crepe paper to put on it. Well the store had pumpkins outside and he just had to have one. So I bought a small one. I am trying to glue the paper on the pinata(he is helping some) He keeps bringing me his pumpkin asking if we can cut it now.

I feel like my head is being pounded on and Avery keeps bugging me!!

To top it all off I get home from the store and discover I left my keys at the check stand. I am not going to go get them i will send Joshua up there when he gets home from school.

and on a gross note if Avery des not stop picking his nose I am going to glue his finger in there.

Been Busy

Well I finished painting this past weekend. Thankfully McKay helped with the high spots. I boy do I hat ladders. So next is the twins hallway and I am going to do that in a pale yellow. Since it is so narrow.
Joshua got his Viola last week man is is a piece of crap. I took it to the music store and had to have things replaced and tuned. Thankfully they did not charge me very much. So He had his first practice today. He says it went well they really did not go over anything that he as not learned already. He has been looking things up on line and reading his instructional book allot. I am happy that he likes it so much.

Saturday we went to the zoo. They were having Barbie day to promote the new movie. Man that was a joke. The line was forever long. So Hope did not get to see Barbie. I felt really bad for her. But I promised her a new Barbie to make up for it. But we did get to see a new baby money so that was great.
I had a horrible allergy attack I am starting to feel better but it is dropping into my lungs. So we will see how it goes.

Avery is now wearing underwear 24 hours a day. He is doing well. We are very proud of him.

Ditching School

Okay well for some reason I over slept. But it happens. Well I go down and Hope and Alex are eating and I do not see Josh or Nathan well I found them both asleep and it was about 5 min till it was time to leave for school. So I let them stay home. But it isn't all fun and games They have been cleaning all day and that is all they can do. They cleaned bathrooms dinning room some of the kitchen Hope's room. I have been working too I scrubbed McKay's chair and have been cleaning the carpets in the front room. Avery is up stairs in his room making a mess but what else is new. He might be asleep by now.

I was suppose to be painting today but with the boys home I will not be able to so oh well. There is always Wed.

I go some picture frames from a neighbor that will look great in the dinning room so when I finish the second coat this week they will go up.

bulling problem

well I just got back home from the meeting with the school's principal. She is very on-top of this now that she is back. It turns out that the boy that has punched Joshua in not zoned for the school and will be transferred to the school that he should be in. Now he Boy that is the cause of all the problems. He and his family are moving. It is not know when this is going to be happening but it will be soon. So they will not be at the school anymore. For Joshua safety he will not be going out to recess for the time being. It has also been agreed that I will be picking up the kids 20 min early every day until they have changed schools. Which is fine with me then we do not have to wait at the school to make sure the problem kids are gone. Plus then I do not have to deal with the rush of kids leaving. This is something that we wanted to do anyway. But now with the schools permission it makes it much easier to do this. We are hoping that this ends everything.

I am working

well I am now working with my Neighbor. She has a landscaping business. Well I love to garden so why not. I work with her like once a week. At least it gets me out of the house. Last week we took Avery with us. Well that was a big pain so this week my nephew is going to come watch him. now with the kids in school it will be much easier. Plus this will be good for Avery. He really needs some time away from me. He does not do well if I am not here. And family is cheaper than daycare!!!!!

Labor Day Weekend

We had a very eventful weekend It started Friday afternoon with the building of a large sandbox. McKay got a bunch of sand from work for free. So we built the kids a sandbox. This is to prevent them from digging in the yard and my garden. Well the sandbox is a big hit. The kids are in it allot and i get to deal with sand all over the house. But if they are happy and playing together that is all that matters. So we were up until about 11pm building this. We had help from neighbors moving all the sand so that was great.

Saturday we go to see Keeley (my niece) get baptized. It was a great day for it. After the baptizum the family went to Templar and Laurie's ward for a bit of a picnic. We got to meet members of Laurie's family. So it turned out to be a great after noon.

Well after we left Kaysville we came back home to much more work. We decided that Joshua and Alexander should have their own rooms. So we removed the stuff out of the game room and moved Joshua in there. The boys seem very happy to have rooms of their own. of course they spend more time in each others rooms now then they did when they shared a room together. Go figure. This carried over to Sunday.

Monday was a bit of a hard day. Joshua expressed how much he does not want to go to school. If it were up to me I would not make him go. But I know he has to face these bullies. We have told him not to fight back. But it is really hard on him being bullied and assaulted at school. School should be a safe place. But it is not. Joshua was bitten by a spider again and his arm is swollen So he has to deal with that also.

I just hope that this week goes better.

Fighting at School

Well we are having a big problem at school. And this is just horrible because this is only the first week. Last year Joshua had a problem with a boy in his class this boy brought a knife to school and said he was going to stab Joshua. well the boy was suspended and arrested (I think). Well the families were instructed to stay away from each other just for safety reasons i had no problems with this at all. Well the summer went great we never saw any of these kids. Well things started right up this year. There have been threats. Nathan was chased by this boy with a stick. and Yesterday after school I was in the office filing a report. The other kids were out side the main doors I told them to stay put so i can watch them. I could see them form the office door. I turned to check on them and just at the moment i saw a boy come up to Josh and punch him in the chest. I was so pissed i wanted to hurt this boy. But I did not. I have filed reports with the school the police and the school board. I also have other parents on my side.

I refuse to put up with this behavior. my children are not safe at school.
I have to pick them up from school to make sure they are all safe.
If i have to wake Avery up in the morning to walk the kids too school I will.

I will find out more after school today

First Day of School!!

Well today went well. i thought Nathan would freak out but he was great. He said he had fun and everyone in his class are his friends. It made me happy to hear this. He also told me that Joshua helped him get his lunch. This is Nathan's first year going to full day school. I went to the school early to pick them up and I got to sit in Nathan's class for a bit and it was great to see how thing were.

Hope did not do so very well. She was crying when we had to line up to go to class. She clung to my leg and did not want to let go. Then she saw that some of her friend from last year are in her class and she forgot all about me.

Alexander did great too he has a male teacher this year so it is something totally new to him. The only problem was he did not go to the meet up spot after school and we had to go find him. He said the day went great. He did not like that he had to do spelling homework the first day back.

Joshua's day was hard. He did not have fun and does not like his teacher at all. She is the hardest teacher in the school and has no personality. They already have projects due soon and he had a few homework things.

Avery was horrible all day he wanted us to go get the kids from school . Then when we went to the school to pick up Hope for the doc He screamed cause we did not get the boys too . as soon as the school day was over he was happy to have everyone back home.

As for me the day went well McKay was home and we had things that we had to do So I did not have to just sit around the house. Tomorrow will be different. it will be my first full day with out the kids. I know that Avery will be a big handful for me. I plan on taking him for a walk in the morning. So I hope that it works and makes his sleepy for a nap.

Took Hope to the Doc

Well we took Hope to her cardiologist today. Everything came back perfect. Her heart has healed on it's own. I am so very happy about this. Of course what parent would not. The visit went great. The only sad thing was that we had to take Hope out of school early. Being the first day it was not that big of a deal. The Doc and the staff were great. The doc really payed attention to Hope asking her the questions and doing his best to make her laugh. Hope was a trooper the whole time. She was scared but it did not show. When she had her Echo done she got to watch Cinderella. I know that helped allot. It took about 30 min to get the Echo done so having the distraction was great. The staff even told her that they were happy to never see her again. That comment was confusing too Hope but I explained it to her and she understood. I hope to never have to see any of them ever again too.